Window 98 recall
It has come to our attention that a few copies of the North Carolina edition of Windows 98 may have accidentally been shipped outside North Carolina. If you have one of the North Carolina editions you may need some help understanding the commands. The North Carolina edition may be recognized by looking at the opening screen. It reads WINDERS 98 with a background picture of the General Lee super imposed on a Confederate flag. It is shipped with a Daisy Duke screen saver.
Also note the Recycle Bin is labeled Outhouse, My Computer is called “This Infernal Contraption”, Dialup Networking is called “Good Ol’ Boys”, Control Panel is known as the “Dern Dashboard”, Hard Drive is referred to as “4 wheel drive’, and floppies are “them little ole plactic disc thangs”.
Other features: Instead of a error message you get a winder covered with a garbage bag and duct tape.
OK = ats aww-right
cancel = hail no
reset = awa shoot
yes = shore
no = Naaaa
find = hunt-fer it
go to = over yonder
back = back yonder
help = hep me out here
stop = ternit off
start = crank it up
settings = sittins
programs = stuff at does stuff
documents = stuff I done done
Also note that Winders 98 does not recognize capital letters or punctuation marks. Some programs that are exclusive to Winders 98:
| tiperiter | A word processor |
| colering book | a graphics program |
| addin mershene | calculator |
| outhouse paper | notepad |
| jupe-box | CD Player |
| iner-net | Microsoft Explorer |
| pichers | A graphics viewer |
| IRS | M/S accounting software |
| IRS2 | M/S accounting software with hidden files |
| coon dog | American kennel club records |
| fishin | Bass Anglers Sportsman Society records |
| NRA | National Rifle Association |
| shot gun | Remington Arms price list |
| riffel | Winchester price list |
| pisstel | Smith & Wesson price list |
| truck | Ford & Chevrolet dealers in North Carolina by zip code |
| house | Nearest Mobile home repair service by zip code |
| car | same as truck just need two list in Alabami |
| cuzzins | family history usually a 3 meg file |
| tax records | usually an empty file |
| shells | ammunition inventory another 3 meg file |
| bud | list of Budwiser dealers by zip code |
| rasin | NASCAR racing schedule includes list of TV stations that carry the race |
| car n truck Parts | nearest Junk yard by zip code |
| doc | veterinarians by zip code |
We regret any inconvenience it may have caused if you received a copy of the North Carolina edition. You may return it to Microsoft for a replacement version.
Bill