I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.

CEOs are now playing miniature golf.

Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.

I saw a Mormon with only one wife.

I bought a toaster oven and my free gift was a bank.

Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America.

Motel Six won’t leave the light on anymore.

A picture is now only worth 200 words.

They renamed Wall Street “Wal-Mart Street.”

When Bill and Hillary travel together, they now have to share a room.

The Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates.

And, last night, when I was so depressed thinking about the economy, wars, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide Hotline.
I got a call center in Pakistan, and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck.