A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

*********************************************************************

Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves.
After marriage, the “y” becomes silent.

*********************************************************************

How do men define marriage?
A very expensive way to get your laundry done free.

*********************************************************************

My wife told me I should be more affectionate.
So I got two girlfriends.

*********************************************************************

Love is blind, but marriage is an eye-opener.

*********************************************************************

The most effective way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once.

*********************************************************************

First Guy (proudly) : “My wife’s an angel!”
Second Guy : “You’re lucky, mine’s still alive.”

*********************************************************************

Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you said.
After marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish.

*********************************************************************

Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage. They’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.

*********************************************************************

A man said his credit card was stolen, but he decided not to report it because the thief was spending less than his wife did.

*********************************************************************

When a newly married couple smiles, everyone knows why.
When a 10-year married couple smiles, everyone wonders why.

*********************************************************************

A husband said to his wife, “No, I don’t hate your relatives. In fact, I like your mother-in-law better than I like mine.”