1. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don’t have film.
2. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
3. A day without sunshine is like, well, night.
4. On the other hand, you have different fingers.
5. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
6. Back up my hard drive? How do I put it in reverse?
7. I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
8. When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.
9. Seen it all, done it all, can’t remember most of it.
10. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don’t.
11. I feel like I’m diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
12. He’s not dead, he’s electroencephalographically challenged.
13. She’s always late. Her ancestors arrived on the Juneflower.
14. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.
15. Honk if you love peace and quiet.
16. Pardon my driving, I am reloading.
17. Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular?
18. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.