1. I’m busy. You’re ugly. Have a nice day.
2. Warning: I have an attitude and I know how to use it.
3. Of course I don’t look busy. I did it right the first time.
4. Why do people with closed minds always open their mouths?
5. Do NOT start with me. You will NOT win.
6. You have the right to remain silent, so please SHUT UP!
7. Guys have feelings too. But like, who cares?
8. I don’t believe in miracles. I rely on them.
9. Next mood swing in 6 minutes.
10. Please don’t make me kill you.
11. And your point is?
12. I used to be schizophrenic, but we’re OK now.
13. All stressed out and no one to choke.
14. How can I miss you if you won’t go away?
15. Sorry if I looked interested. I’m not.
16. I am out of estrogen, and I have a gun.
17. So many men, so few who can afford me.
18. God made us sisters, Prozac made us friends.
19. Coffee, chocolate, men. Some things are just better rich.
20. Don’t treat me any differently than you would the queen.
21. I can be one of those bad things that happens to bad people.
22. How can I miss you if you won’t go away?
23. Don’t upset me! I’m running out of places to hide the bodies.
24. If you want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen.