Only in America … can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

Only in America … do drugstores make the sick people walk all the way to the back counter to get their prescriptions, while healthy people can buy their cigarettes at the front.

Only in America … are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.

Only in America … do people order double cheese burgers, a large fry, and a diet coke.

Only in America … do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

Only in America … do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and leave useless things and junk in boxes in the garage.

Only in America … do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won’t miss a call from someone we didn’t want to talk to in the first place.

Only in America … do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

Only in America … do we use the word “politics” to describe the process so well: “Poli” in latin meaning “many” and “tics” meaning “blood-sucking creatures”.

Only in America … do we have drive-up ATM’s with Braille lettering.