60 ways to tell if you’re lost between a baby boomer & a gen X’er:
1. There was nothing strange about Bert and Ernie living together.
2. You know who shot JR.
3. You’ve ever conversationally used the phrase, “Jane, you ignorant slut!”.
4. You remember when Jordache and Sasson jeans were cool.
5. In your fifth grade class picture you were wearing an Izod shirt with the collar up.
6. You know by heart the words to any Weird Al Yankovic song.
7. The Brady Bunch movie brought back cool memories.
8. You ever rang someone’s doorbell and said “Landshark!” or “Candy Gram”.
9. Three words: Atari, IntelliVision, and Colecovision.
10. You remember the days when “safe sex” meant that your parents were gone for the weekend.
11. You remember Friday Night Videos before the days of MTV.
12. A predominant color in your childhood photos is plaid.
13. While in high school, you and your friends discussed elaborate plans to get together again at the end of the century and play Prince’s “1999” until you passed out partying.
14. You remember when music that was labeled alternative, really was.
15. You took family trips BEFORE the invention of the minivan.
16. You rode in the back of the station wagon and you faced the cars behind you.
17. Tericloth.
18. You watched HR Puffenstuff as a child, but now that you’re older, you really understand that it would have been much better had you known about drugs at the time.
19. You’ve recently horrified yourself by using any one of the following phases:
– When I was younger…
– When I was your age…
– You know, back when…
20. Schoolhouse Rock played a HUGE part in how you actually learned the English language.
21. You’re starting to view getting carded to buy alcohol as a GOOD thing.
22. You ever dressed to emulate a person you saw in either a Duran Duran, Madonna, or Cyndi Lauper video.
23. The first time you ever kissed someone at a dance came during “Crazy for You,” by Madonna.
24. You remember with pain the sad day when the Green Machine hit the streets and made your old Big Wheel quite obsolete.
25. The phrase “Where’s the beef,” still doubles you over with laughter.
26. You honestly remember when film critics raved that no movie could ever possibly get better special effects than those in the movie TRON.
27. Ted, the photographer on The Love Boat.
28. Your hair at some point in time in the 80’s became something which can
only be described by the phrase “I was experimenting”.
29. This timeline appropriately describes actual events in your life: Star Wars opens, you are still in single digit ages, and you think the creatures are WAY cool. Empire Strikes Back opens, you are now in early double digit ages, and you are convinced that the special effects are much better, the characters are cool, and you want one of every collectible out there. Return of the Jedi hits the theaters, you are now a teenager and you cannot get your eyes off Princess Leia’s breasts or Han Solo’s butt.
30. You’ve ever shopped at a Banana Republic or Benetton, but not in the last five years, okay.
31. You’re starting to believe now that maybe having the kids go to school year round wouldn’t be such a bad idea after all.
32. You’re doing absolutely nothing pertaining to your major.
33. You ever wanted to be gagged with a spoon.
34. U2 is too popular and mainstream for you now.
35. You ever used the phrase “Kiss mah grits!” in conversation.
36. You remember trying to guess the episode of the Brady Bunch from the first scene.
37. You spent endless nights dreaming about being the Bionic Woman or Wonder Woman or the Six Million Dollar Man.
38. You had ringside seats for Luke and Laura’s wedding on General Hospital.
39. You remember, “Hey, let’s be careful out there.”.
40. Your parents wanted you to attend medical school, but you decided it was pointless since Quincy got all the babes anyway.
41. This rings a bell: “…and my name is Charlie. They work for me.”
42. You were unsure if Diet Coke would ever catch on after all.
43. You know all the words to the double album set of Grease.
44. You ever had a Dorothy Hammill haircut.
45. You sat with your friends on a Friday night and dialed 867-5309 to see if Jenny would answer.
46. All skate, change directions, means something to you.
47. You owned a pair of Rainbow suspenders just like Mork used to wear.
48. You bought a pair of Vanns and wanted to order a pizza in history class so you could be just like Spicoli in Fast Times.
49. You owned a preppy handbook.
50. You were too young to go see the Blue Lagoon so you just had to settle for second hand reports.
51. You remember when there was only PG and R none of this PG-13 crap.
52. You learned to swim about the same time Jaws came out and still carry the emotional scars to this day.
53. You remember when your cable TV box had a sliding selector switch.
54. You actually believed everything Leonard Nimoy told you on “In Search Of…”
55. Your jaw would ache by the time you finished those brick sized packages of Bazooka gum.
56. Bo and Luke Duke.
57. You ever climbed in and out of the car through the windows.
58. VCRs cost $2,000.
59. Rotary dial telephones.
60. You actually believed that Mikey, famed for his Life cereal commercials, died after eating a packet of pop rocks and drinking a Coke.