“Never trust a dog to watch your food.” — Patrick, age 10

“When your dad is mad and asks you, “Do I look stupid?’ Don’t answer.” — Hannah, age 9

“Never tell your Mom her diet’s not working.” — Michael, age 14

“Stay away from prunes.” — Randy, age 9

“Don’t pull Dad’s finger when he tells you to.” — Emily, age 10

“When your Mom is mad at your dad, don’t let her brush your hair.” — Taylia, age 11

“Never let your three-year old brother in the same room as your school assignment.” — Traci, age 14

“A puppy always has bad breath-even after eating a Tic-Tac.” — Andrew, age 9

“Never hold a dustbuster and a cat at the same time.” — Kyoyo, age 11

“You can’t hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.” — Amir, age 9

“Don’t wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.” — Kellie, age 11

“If you want a kitten, start out by asking for a horse.” — Naomi, age 15

“Felt-tip markers are not good to use as lipstick.” — Lauren, age 9

“Don’t pick on your sister when she’s holding a baseball bat.” — Joel, age 10

“When you get a bad grade in school, show it to your Mom when she’s on the phone.” — Alyesha, age 13

“Never try to baptize a cat.” — Eileen, age 8