SWISS ARMY KNIFE — Male
Because even though it appears useful for a wide variety of work, it spends most of its time just opening bottles.

KIDNEYS — Female
Because they always go to the bathroom in pairs.

TIRES — Male
Because they goes bald and are often over-inflated.

HOT AIR BALLOON — Male
Because to get it to go anywhere, you have to light a fire under it, and, of course, there’s the hot air part.

SPONGES — Female
Because they are soft and squeezable and retain water.

WEB PAGE — Female
Because it is always getting hit on.

SHOES — Male
Because they are usually unpolished, with their tongues hanging out.

COPIER — Female
Because once turned off, it takes a while to warm up.
Because it is an effective reproductive device when the right buttons are pushed.
Because it can wreak havoc when the wrong buttons are pushed.

ZIPLOC BAGS — Male
Because they hold everything in, but you can always see right through them.

SUBWAY — Male
Because it uses the same old lines to pick people up.

HAMMER — Male
Because it hasn’t evolved much over the last 5,000 years, but it’s handy to have around.

REMOTE CONTROL — Female
Because it gives men pleasure, he’d be lost without it, and while he doesn’t always know the right buttons to push, he keeps trying.