{"id":894,"date":"2010-01-05T09:28:54","date_gmt":"2010-01-05T13:28:54","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.paragonis.com\/Emails\/?p=894"},"modified":"2010-01-05T09:28:54","modified_gmt":"2010-01-05T13:28:54","slug":"make-women-happy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/emails.paragonis.com\/?p=894","title":{"rendered":"Make Women Happy"},"content":{"rendered":"

For everyone out there who just can’t figure it out, here it is. In the world of romance, one single rule applies: MAKE THE WOMAN HAPPY<\/strong>.<\/p>\n

Do something she likes and you get points.
\nDo something she dislikes and points are subtracted.
\nYou don’t get any points for doing something she expects.
\nThat’s the way the game is played.<\/p>\n

Here is a guide to the point system.<\/p>\n

SIMPLE DUTIES<\/p>\n

You make the bed (+1)
\nYou make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows (0)
\nYou throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets (-1)
\nYou leave the toilet seat up (-5)
\nYou replace the toilet-paper roll when its empty (0)
\nWhen the toilet-paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex (-1)
\nWhen the Kleenex runs out you shuffle slowly to the next bathroom (-2)
\nYou check out a suspicious noise at night (0)
\nYou check out a suspicious noise at night and its nothing (0)
\nYou check out a suspicious noise at night and its her father (-10)<\/p>\n

SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS<\/p>\n

You stay by her side the entire party (0)
\nYou stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college drinking buddy (-2)
\nNamed Tiffany (-4)
\nTiffany is a dancer (-6)<\/p>\n

HER BIRTHDAY<\/p>\n

You take her out to dinner (0)
\nYou take her out to dinner and its not a sports bar (+1)
\nOkay, it is a sports bar (-2)
\nAnd its all-you-can-eat night (-3)
\nIt’s a sports bar, its all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colors of your favorite team (-10)<\/p>\n

A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS<\/p>\n

Go out with a pal (-5)
\nAnd the pal is happily married (-4)
\nOr frighteningly single (-7)
\nAnd he drives a Porsche (-10)<\/p>\n

A NIGHT OUT<\/p>\n

You take her to a movie (+2)
\nYou take her to a movie she likes (+4)
\nYou take her to a movie you hate (+6)
\nYou take her to a movie you like (-2)
\nIt’s called DeathCop3 (-3)
\nYou lied, said it was a foreign film about orphans (-15)<\/p>\n

YOUR PHYSIQUE<\/p>\n

You develop a noticeable potbelly (-15)
\nYou develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it (+10)
\nYou develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to loose jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts (-30)
\nYou say: “I don’t give a care because you’ve got one too” (-800)<\/p>\n

THE BIG QUESTION – She asks, “Do I look fat?”<\/p>\n

You say ‘of course not’ without even looking (-5)
\nYou hesitate in responding (-10)
\nYou reply, “Where?” (-35)<\/p>\n

COMMUNICATION<\/p>\n

When she wants to talk about a problem, you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression (0)
\nWhen she wants to talk, you listen for over 30 minutes (+5)
\nYou listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV (+10)
\nShe realizes this is because you’ve fallen asleep (-20)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

For everyone out there who just can’t figure it out, here it is. In the world of romance, one single rule applies: MAKE THE WOMAN HAPPY. Do something she likes and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don’t get any points for doing something she expects. That’s the way […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_s2mail":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[17],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-894","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-menvwomen"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/emails.paragonis.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/894","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/emails.paragonis.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/emails.paragonis.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/emails.paragonis.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/emails.paragonis.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=894"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/emails.paragonis.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/894\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":895,"href":"https:\/\/emails.paragonis.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/894\/revisions\/895"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/emails.paragonis.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=894"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/emails.paragonis.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=894"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/emails.paragonis.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=894"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}