During all police investigations, it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once.<\/p>\n
When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.<\/p>\n
If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a passing St. Patrick’s Day parade – at any time of year.<\/p>\n
All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets which reach up to the armpit level on a woman but only to the waist level on the man lying beside her.<\/p>\n
The Chief of Police will almost always suspend his star detective or give him 48 hours to finish the job.<\/p>\n
All grocery bags contain at least one stick of French Bread.<\/p>\n
It’s easy for anyone to land a plane providing there is someone to talk you down.<\/p>\n
The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place – noone will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building undetected.<\/p>\n
Police departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned to a partner who is their polar opposite.<\/p>\n
The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.<\/p>\n
All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they are going to go off.<\/p>\n
If you need to reload your gun, you will always have more ammunition – even if you haven’t been carrying any before now.<\/p>\n
You are very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.<\/p>\n
Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language – a German accent will do.<\/p>\n
If your town is threatened by an imminent natural disaster or killer beast, the mayor’s first concern will be the tourist trade or his forthcoming art exhibition.<\/p>\n
A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.<\/p>\n
When paying for a taxi, don’t look at your wallet as you take out a bill – just grab one at random and hand it over.\u00a0 It will always be the exact fare.<\/p>\n
Kitchens don’t have light switches.\u00a0 When entering a kitchen at night, you should open the fridge door and use that light instead.<\/p>\n
If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing underwear.<\/p>\n
Mothers routinely cook eggs, bacon and waffles for their family every morning even though their husband and children never have time to eat it.<\/p>\n
Cars that crash will almost always burst into flames.<\/p>\n
All telephone numbers in America begin with the digits 555.<\/p>\n
A single match will be sufficient to light up a room the size of RFK stadium.<\/p>\n
Medieval peasants had perfect teeth.<\/p>\n
Any person waking from a nightmare will sit bolt upright and pant.<\/p>\n
It is not necessary to hello or goodbye when beginning or ending phone conversations.<\/p>\n
Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary to turn the wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments.<\/p>\n
It is always possible to park directly outside the building you are visiting.<\/p>\n
A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.<\/p>\n
It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts – your enemies will patiently attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.<\/p>\n
When a person is knocked unconscious by a blow to the head, they will never suffer a concussion or brain damage.<\/p>\n
No-one ever involved in a car chase, hijacking, explosion, volcanic eruption or alien invasion will ever go into shock.<\/p>\n
Once applied, lipstick will never rub off – even while scuba diving.<\/p>\n
You can always find a chainsaw when you need one.<\/p>\n
Any lock can be picked by a credit card or a paper clip in seconds – unless it’s the door to a burning building with a child trapped inside.<\/p>\n
Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at the precise moment that it is aired.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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