You wake up at 3 a.m. to go to the bathroom and stop to check your e-mail on the way back to bed.<\/p>\n
You get a tattoo that reads “This body best viewed with Netscape 3.0 or higher.”<\/p>\n
You name your children Eudora, Mozilla and Dotcom.<\/p>\n
You turn off your modem and get this awful empty feeling, like you just pulled the plug on a loved one.<\/p>\n
You spend half of the plane trip with your laptop on your lap…and your child in the overhead compartment.<\/p>\n
You decide to stay in college for an additional year or two, just for the free Internet access.<\/p>\n
You laugh at people with 9600-baud modems.<\/p>\n
You start using smileys in your snail mail.<\/p>\n
Your hard drive crashes. You haven’t logged in for two hours. You start to twitch. You pick up the phone and manually dial your ISP’s access number.<\/p>\n
You try to hum to communicate with the modem… and you succeed.<\/p>\n
You find yourself typing “com” after every period when using a word processor.com.<\/p>\n
You refer to going to the bathroom as downloading.<\/p>\n
You start introducing yourself as “JohnDoe@AOL.com.<\/p>\n
All of your friends have an @ in their names.<\/p>\n
Your cat has its own home page.<\/p>\n
You can’t call your mother… she doesn’t have a modem.<\/p>\n
You check your mail. It says “no new messages.” So you check it again.<\/p>\n
Your phone bill comes to your doorstep in a box.<\/p>\n
You don’t know what sex three of your closest friends are, because they have neutral nicknames and you never bothered to ask.<\/p>\n
You move into a new house and decide to Netscape before you landscape.<\/p>\n
You tell the cab driver you live at http:\/\/1000.edison.rd\/house\/brick.html.<\/p>\n
You start tilting your head sideways to smile.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
You wake up at 3 a.m. to go to the bathroom and stop to check your e-mail on the way back to bed. You get a tattoo that reads “This body best viewed with Netscape 3.0 or higher.” You name your children Eudora, Mozilla and Dotcom. You turn off your modem and get this awful […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_s2mail":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-53","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-agingyourself"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/emails.paragonis.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/53","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/emails.paragonis.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/emails.paragonis.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/emails.paragonis.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/emails.paragonis.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=53"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/emails.paragonis.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/53\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":55,"href":"https:\/\/emails.paragonis.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/53\/revisions\/55"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/emails.paragonis.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=53"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/emails.paragonis.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=53"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/emails.paragonis.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=53"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}