{"id":395,"date":"2006-10-28T00:00:00","date_gmt":"2006-10-28T04:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.paragonis.com\/Emails\/?p=395"},"modified":"2009-11-21T09:35:08","modified_gmt":"2009-11-21T13:35:08","slug":"recall-note","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/emails.paragonis.com\/?p=395","title":{"rendered":"Recall Notice"},"content":{"rendered":"

Window 98 recall<\/p>\n

It has come to our attention that a few copies of the North Carolina edition of Windows 98 may have accidentally been shipped outside North Carolina. If you have one of the North Carolina editions you may need some help understanding the commands. The North Carolina edition may be recognized by looking at the opening screen. It reads WINDERS 98 with a background picture of the General Lee super imposed on a Confederate flag. It is shipped with a Daisy Duke screen saver.<\/p>\n

Also note the Recycle Bin is labeled Outhouse, My Computer is called “This Infernal Contraption”, Dialup Networking is called “Good Ol’ Boys”, Control Panel is known as the “Dern Dashboard”, Hard Drive is referred to as “4 wheel drive’, and floppies are “them little ole plactic disc thangs”.<\/p>\n

Other features: Instead of a error message you get a winder covered with a garbage bag and duct tape.<\/p>\n

OK = ats aww-right
\ncancel = hail no
\nreset = awa shoot
\nyes = shore
\nno = Naaaa
\nfind = hunt-fer it
\ngo to = over yonder
\nback = back yonder
\nhelp = hep me out here
\nstop = ternit off
\nstart = crank it up
\nsettings = sittins
\nprograms = stuff at does stuff
\ndocuments = stuff I done done<\/p>\n

Also note that Winders 98 does not recognize capital letters or punctuation marks. Some programs that are exclusive to Winders 98:<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n
tiperiter<\/td>\nA word processor<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
colering book<\/td>\na graphics program<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
addin mershene<\/td>\ncalculator<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
outhouse paper<\/td>\nnotepad<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
jupe-box<\/td>\nCD Player<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
iner-net<\/td>\nMicrosoft Explorer<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
pichers<\/td>\nA graphics viewer<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
IRS<\/td>\nM\/S accounting software<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
IRS2<\/td>\nM\/S accounting software with hidden files<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
coon dog<\/td>\nAmerican kennel club records<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
fishin<\/td>\nBass Anglers Sportsman Society records<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
NRA<\/td>\nNational Rifle Association<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
shot gun<\/td>\nRemington Arms price list<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
riffel<\/td>\nWinchester price list<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
pisstel<\/td>\nSmith & Wesson price list<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
truck<\/td>\nFord & Chevrolet dealers in North Carolina by zip code<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
house<\/td>\nNearest Mobile home repair service by zip code<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
car<\/td>\nsame as truck just need two list in Alabami<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
cuzzins<\/td>\nfamily history usually a 3 meg file<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
tax records<\/td>\nusually an empty file<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
shells<\/td>\nammunition inventory another 3 meg file<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
bud<\/td>\nlist of Budwiser dealers by zip code<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
rasin<\/td>\nNASCAR racing schedule includes list of TV stations that carry the race<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
car n truck Parts<\/td>\nnearest Junk yard by zip code<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
doc<\/td>\nveterinarians by zip code<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

We regret any inconvenience it may have caused if you received a copy of the North Carolina edition. You may return it to Microsoft for a replacement version.<\/p>\n

Bill<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Window 98 recall It has come to our attention that a few copies of the North Carolina edition of Windows 98 may have accidentally been shipped outside North Carolina. If you have one of the North Carolina editions you may need some help understanding the commands. The North Carolina edition may be recognized by looking […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_s2mail":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[9],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-395","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-computer"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/emails.paragonis.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/395","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/emails.paragonis.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/emails.paragonis.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/emails.paragonis.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/emails.paragonis.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=395"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/emails.paragonis.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/395\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":582,"href":"https:\/\/emails.paragonis.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/395\/revisions\/582"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/emails.paragonis.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=395"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/emails.paragonis.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=395"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/emails.paragonis.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=395"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}