The only jokes you receive are through e-mail.<\/p>\n
At Christmas, it goes without saying that you will be the one to find the burnt-out bulb in the string of Christmas lights.<\/p>\n
Buying flowers for your girlfriend or spending the money to upgrade your RAM is a moral dilemma.<\/p>\n
Everyone else on the Alaskan Cruise is on deck peering at the scenery, and you are still on a personal tour of the engine room.<\/p>\n
In college, you thought Spring Break was a metal fatigue failure.<\/p>\n
The Salespeople at Circuit City can’t answer any of your questions.<\/p>\n
You are always late to meetings.<\/p>\n
You are at an air show and know how fast the skydivers are falling.<\/p>\n
You bought your wife a new CD ROM for her birthday.<\/p>\n
You forget to get a haircut (for 6 months!).<\/p>\n
You can quote scenes from any Monty Python movie.<\/p>\n
You can type 70 words per minute but can’t read your own handwriting.<\/p>\n
You can’t write unless the paper has both horizontal and vertical lines.<\/p>\n
You comment to your wife that her straight hair is nice and parallel.<\/p>\n
You go on the rides at Disneyland and sit backwards in the chairs to see how they do the special effects.<\/p>\n
You have Dilbert comics displayed anywhere in your work area.<\/p>\n
You have ever saved the power cord from a broken appliance.<\/p>\n
You have more friends on the Internet than in real life.<\/p>\n
You have never backed up your hard drive.<\/p>\n
You have never bought any new underwear or socks for yourself since you got married.<\/p>\n
You have used coat hangars and duct tape for something other than hanging coats and taping ducts.<\/p>\n
You know what http:\/\/ stands for<\/p>\n
You look forward to Christmas only to put together the kids’ toys.<\/p>\n
You own one or more white short-sleeve dress shirts.<\/p>\n
You see a good design and still have to change it.<\/p>\n
You spent more on your calculator than you did on your wedding ring.<\/p>\n
You still own a slide rule and you know how to use it.<\/p>\n
You think a pocket protector is a fashion accessory.<\/p>\n
You think that when people around you yawn, it’s because they didn’t get enough sleep.<\/p>\n
You wear black socks with tennis shoes (or vice versa).<\/p>\n
You window shop at Radio Shack.<\/p>\n
You’re in the back-seat of your car, she’s looking wistfully at the moon, and your trying to locate a geosynchronous satellite.<\/p>\n
Your checkbook always balances.<\/p>\n
Your laptop computer costs more than your car.<\/p>\n
Your wife hasn’t the foggiest idea of what you do at work.<\/p>\n
Your wrist watch has more computing power than a 300 MHz Pentium.<\/p>\n
You’ve already calculated how much you make per second.<\/p>\n
You’ve ever tried to repair a $5 radio.<\/p>\n
Your four basic food groups are:
\n 1.Caffeine,
\n 2.Fat,
\n 3.Sugar,
\n 4.Chocolate<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
The only jokes you receive are through e-mail. At Christmas, it goes without saying that you will be the one to find the burnt-out bulb in the string of Christmas lights. Buying flowers for your girlfriend or spending the money to upgrade your RAM is a moral dilemma. Everyone else on the Alaskan Cruise is […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_s2mail":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[20],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-381","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-occupations"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/emails.paragonis.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/381","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/emails.paragonis.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/emails.paragonis.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/emails.paragonis.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/emails.paragonis.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=381"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/emails.paragonis.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/381\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/emails.paragonis.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=381"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/emails.paragonis.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=381"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/emails.paragonis.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=381"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}