{"id":371,"date":"2005-05-17T00:00:00","date_gmt":"2005-05-17T04:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.paragonis.com\/Emails\/?p=371"},"modified":"2009-11-21T09:43:18","modified_gmt":"2009-11-21T13:43:18","slug":"costello-wants-a-computer","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/emails.paragonis.com\/?p=371","title":{"rendered":"Costello Wants A Computer"},"content":{"rendered":"

For those of us who sometimes get flustered by our computers, please read on….<\/p>\n

COSTELLO calls to buy a computer from ABBOTT:<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n
ABBOTT:<\/th>\nSuper Duper computer store. Can I help you?<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
COSTELLO:<\/th>\nThanks, I’m setting up an office in my den and I’m thinking about buying a computer.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
ABBOTT:<\/th>\nMac?<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
COSTELLO:<\/th>\nNo, the name’s Lou.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
ABBOTT:<\/th>\nYour computer?<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
COSTELLO:<\/th>\nI don’t own a computer. I want to buy one.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
ABBOTT:<\/th>\nMac?<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
COSTELLO:<\/th>\nI told you, my name’s Lou.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
ABBOTT:<\/th>\nWhat about Windows?<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
COSTELLO:<\/th>\nWhy? Will it get stuffy in here?<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
ABBOTT:<\/th>\nDo you want a computer with Windows?<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
COSTELLO:<\/th>\nI don’t know. What will I see when I look at the windows?<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
ABBOTT:<\/th>\nWallpaper.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
COSTELLO:<\/th>\nNever mind the windows. I need a computer and software.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
ABBOTT:<\/th>\nSoftware for Windows?<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
COSTELLO:<\/th>\nNo. For the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What do you have?<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
ABBOTT:<\/th>\nOffice.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
COSTELLO:<\/th>\nYeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
ABBOTT:<\/th>\nI just did.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
COSTELLO:<\/th>\nYou just did what?<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
ABBOTT:<\/th>\nRecommended something.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
COSTELLO:<\/th>\nYou recommended something?<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
ABBOTT:<\/th>\nYes.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
COSTELLO:<\/th>\nFor my office?<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
ABBOTT:<\/th>\nYes.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
COSTELLO:<\/th>\nOK, what did you recommend for my office?<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
ABBOTT:<\/th>\nOffice.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
COSTELLO:<\/th>\nYes, for my office?<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
ABBOTT:<\/th>\nI recommend Office with Windows.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
COSTELLO:<\/th>\nI already have an office with windows! OK, let’s just say I’m sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
ABBOTT:<\/th>\nWord.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
COSTELLO:<\/th>\nWhat word?<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
ABBOTT:<\/th>\nWord in Office.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
COSTELLO:<\/th>\nThe only word in office is office?<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
ABBOTT:<\/th>\nThe Word in Office for Windows.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
COSTELLO:<\/th>\nWhich word in office for windows?<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
ABBOTT:<\/th>\nThe Word you get when you click the blue “W”.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
COSTELLO:<\/th>\nI’m going to click your blue “W” if you don’t start with some straight answers. OK, forget that. Can I watch movies on the Internet?<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
ABBOTT:<\/th>\nYes, you want Real One.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
COSTELLO:<\/th>\nMaybe a real one, maybe a cartoon. What I watch is none of your business. Just tell me what I need!<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
ABBOTT:<\/th>\nReal One.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
COSTELLO:<\/th>\nIf it’s a long movie, I also want to watch reels 2, 3 and 4. Can I watch them?<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
ABBOTT:<\/th>\nOf course.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
COSTELLO:<\/th>\nGreat! With what?<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
ABBOTT:<\/th>\nReal One.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
COSTELLO:<\/th>\nOK, I’m at my computer and I want to watch a movie. What do I do?<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
ABBOTT:<\/th>\nYou click the blue “1”.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
COSTELLO:<\/th>\nI click the blue one what?<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
ABBOTT:<\/th>\nThe blue “1”.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
COSTELLO:<\/th>\nIs that different from the blue “W”?<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
ABBOTT:<\/th>\nThe blue “1” is Real One and the blue “W” is Word.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
COSTELLO:<\/th>\nWhat word?<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
ABBOTT:<\/th>\nThe Word in Office for Windows.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
COSTELLO:<\/th>\nBut there are three words in “office for windows!”<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
ABBOTT:<\/th>\nNo, just one. But it’s the most popular Word in the world.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
COSTELLO:<\/th>\nIt is?<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
ABBOTT:<\/th>\nYes, but to be fair, there aren’t many other Words left. It pretty much wiped out all the others Words out there.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
COSTELLO:<\/th>\nAnd that word is real one?<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
ABBOTT:<\/th>\nReal One has nothing to do with Word. Real One isn’t even part of Office.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
COSTELLO:<\/th>\nSTOP! Don’t start that again. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
ABBOTT:<\/th>\nMoney.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
COSTELLO:<\/th>\nThat’s right. What do you have?<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
ABBOTT:<\/th>\nMoney.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
COSTELLO:<\/th>\nI need money to track my money?<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
ABBOTT:<\/th>\nIt comes bundled with your computer.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
COSTELLO:<\/th>\nWhat’s bundled with my computer?<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
ABBOTT:<\/th>\nMoney.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
COSTELLO:<\/th>\nMoney comes with my computer?<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
ABBOTT:<\/th>\nYes. No extra charge.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
COSTELLO:<\/th>\nI get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
ABBOTT:<\/th>\nOne copy.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
COSTELLO:<\/th>\nIsn’t it illegal to copy money?<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
ABBOTT:<\/th>\nMicrosoft gave us a license to copy Money.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
COSTELLO:<\/th>\nThey can give you a license to copy money?<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
ABBOTT:<\/th>\nWhy not? THEY OWN IT!<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
(A few days later)<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
ABBOTT:<\/th>\nSuper Duper computer store. Can I help you?<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
COSTELLO:<\/th>\nHow do I turn my computer off?<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
ABBOTT:<\/th>\nClick on “START”….<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

For those of us who sometimes get flustered by our computers, please read on…. COSTELLO calls to buy a computer from ABBOTT: ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you? COSTELLO: Thanks, I’m setting up an office in my den and I’m thinking about buying a computer. ABBOTT: Mac? COSTELLO: No, the name’s Lou. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_s2mail":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[9],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-371","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-computer"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/emails.paragonis.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/371","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/emails.paragonis.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/emails.paragonis.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/emails.paragonis.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/emails.paragonis.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=371"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/emails.paragonis.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/371\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":585,"href":"https:\/\/emails.paragonis.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/371\/revisions\/585"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/emails.paragonis.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=371"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/emails.paragonis.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=371"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/emails.paragonis.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=371"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}