“I’m going fishing.”
\n\tReally means… “I’m going to drink myself dangerously stupid and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety.”<\/p>\n
“It’s a guy thing.”
\n\tReally means… “There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical.”<\/p>\n
“Can I help with dinner?”
\n\tReally means… “Why isn’t it already on the table?”<\/p>\n
“Uh huh,” “Sure, honey,” or “Yes, dear.”
\n\tReally means… Absolutely nothing. It’s a conditioned response.<\/p>\n
“It would take too long to explain.”
\n\tReally means… “I have no idea how it works.”<\/p>\n
“I’m getting more exercise lately.”
\n\tReally means… “The batteries in the remote are dead.”<\/p>\n
“We’re going to be late.”
\n\tReally means… “Now I have a legitimate excuse to drive like a maniac.”<\/p>\n
“I was listening to you. It’s just that I have things on my mind.”
\n\tReally means… “I was wondering if that red-head over there is wearing a bra.”<\/p>\n
“Take a break, honey, you’re working too hard.”
\n\tReally means… “I can’t hear the game over the vacuum cleaner.”<\/p>\n
“That’s interesting, dear.”
\n\tReally means… “Are you still talking?”<\/p>\n
“Honey, we don’t need material things to prove our love.”
\n\tReally means… “I forgot our anniversary again.”<\/p>\n
“You expect too much of me.”
\n\tReally means… “You want me to stay awake.”<\/p>\n
“It’s a really good movie.”
\n\tReally means… “It’s got guns, knives, fast cars, and Heather Locklear.”<\/p>\n
“That’s women’s work.”
\n\tReally means… “It’s difficult, dirty, and thankless.”<\/p>\n
“You know how bad my memory is.”
\n\tReally means… “I remember the theme song to ‘F Troop’, the address of the first girl I ever kissed and the Vehicle Identification Numbers of every car I’ve ever owned, but I forgot your birthday.”<\/p>\n
“Oh, don’t fuss. I just cut myself, it’s no big deal.”
\n\tReally means… “I have severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit I’m hurt.”<\/p>\n
“Hey, I’ve got my reasons for what I’m doing.”
\n\tReally means… “I sure hope I think of some reasons pretty soon.”<\/p>\n
“I can’t find it.”
\n\tReally means… “It didn’t fall into my outstretched hands, so I’m completely clueless.”<\/p>\n
“What did I do this time?”
\n\tReally means… “What did you catch me doing?”<\/p>\n
“She’s one of those rabid feminists.”
\n\tReally means… “She refused to make my coffee.”<\/p>\n
“I heard you.”
\n\tReally means… “I haven’t the foggiest clue what you just said, and I am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don’t spend the next 3 days yelling at me.”<\/p>\n
“You know I could never love anyone else.”
\n\tReally means… “I am used to the way you yell at me, and realize it could be worse.”<\/p>\n
“You look terrific.”
\n\tReally means… “Oh, God, please don’t try on one more outfit. I’m starving.”<\/p>\n
“I brought you a present.”
\n\tReally means… “It was free ice scraper night at the ball game.”<\/p>\n
“I miss you.”
\n\tReally means… “I can’t find my sock drawer, the kids are hungry and we are out of toilet paper.”<\/p>\n
“I’m not lost. I know exactly where we are.”
\n\tReally means… “I’m lost. I have no idea where we are, and no one will ever see us alive again.”<\/p>\n
“We share the housework.”
\n\tReally means… “I make the messes, you clean them up.”<\/p>\n
“This relationship is getting too serious.”
\n\tReally means… “You’re cutting into the time I spend with my truck.”<\/p>\n
“I don’t need to read the instructions.”
\n\tReally means… “I am perfectly capable of screwing it up without printed help.”<\/p>\n
“I’ll fix the garbage disposal later.”
\n\tReally means… “If I wait long enough, you’ll get frustrated and buy a new one.”<\/p>\n
“I broke up with her.”
\n\tReally means… “She dumped me.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
“I’m going fishing.” Really means… “I’m going to drink myself dangerously stupid and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety.” “It’s a guy thing.” Really means… “There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_s2mail":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[17],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-342","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-menvwomen"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/emails.paragonis.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/342","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/emails.paragonis.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/emails.paragonis.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/emails.paragonis.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/emails.paragonis.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=342"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/emails.paragonis.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/342\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":474,"href":"https:\/\/emails.paragonis.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/342\/revisions\/474"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/emails.paragonis.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=342"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/emails.paragonis.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=342"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/emails.paragonis.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=342"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}