THINGS YOU’D LOVE TO SAY OUT LOUD AT WORK<\/p>\n
1. I can see your point, but I still think you’re full of crap.<\/p>\n
2. I don’t know what your problem is, but I’ll bet it’s hard to pronounce.<\/p>\n
3. How about never? Is never good for you?<\/p>\n
4. I see you’ve set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.<\/p>\n
5. I’m really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way.<\/p>\n
6. I’ll try being nicer if you’ll try being smarter.<\/p>\n
7. I’m out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.<\/p>\n
8. I don’t work here. I’m a consultant.<\/p>\n
9. It sounds like English, but I can’t understand a word you’re saying.<\/p>\n
10. Ahhh…I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again.<\/p>\n
11. I like you. You remind me of myself when I was young and stupid.<\/p>\n
12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.<\/p>\n
13. I have plenty of talent and vision; I just don’t give a damn.<\/p>\n
14. I’m already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.<\/p>\n
15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.<\/p>\n
16. Thank you. We’re all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.<\/p>\n
17. The fact that no one understands you doesn’t mean you’re an artist.<\/p>\n
18. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.<\/p>\n
19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?<\/p>\n
20. I’m not being rude. You’re just insignificant.<\/p>\n
21. It’s a thankless job, but I’ve got a lot of Karma to burn off.<\/p>\n
22. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.<\/p>\n
23. And your crybaby, whiney opinion would be…?<\/p>\n
24. Do I look like a people person?<\/p>\n
25. This isn’t an office. It’s Hell with fluorescent lighting.<\/p>\n
26. I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.<\/p>\n
27. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.<\/p>\n
28. If I throw a stick, will you leave?<\/p>\n
29. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.<\/p>\n
30. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.<\/p>\n
31. I’m trying to imagine you with a personality.<\/p>\n
32. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.<\/p>\n
33. Can I trade this job for what’s behind door #1?<\/p>\n
34. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.<\/p>\n
35. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?<\/p>\n
36. Chaos, panic, & disorder … my work here is done.<\/p>\n
37. How do I set a laser printer to stun?<\/p>\n
38. I thought I wanted a career; turns out I just wanted a salary.<\/p>\n
39. Oh, I get it …. like humor … but different.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
THINGS YOU’D LOVE TO SAY OUT LOUD AT WORK 1. I can see your point, but I still think you’re full of crap. 2. I don’t know what your problem is, but I’ll bet it’s hard to pronounce. 3. How about never? Is never good for you? 4. I see you’ve set aside this special […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_s2mail":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[10],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-308","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-corporate"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/emails.paragonis.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/308","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/emails.paragonis.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/emails.paragonis.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/emails.paragonis.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/emails.paragonis.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=308"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/emails.paragonis.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/308\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/emails.paragonis.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=308"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/emails.paragonis.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=308"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/emails.paragonis.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=308"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}