“Never trust a dog to watch your food.” — Patrick, age 10<\/p>\n
“When your dad is mad and asks you, “Do I look stupid?’ Don’t answer.” — Hannah, age 9<\/p>\n
“Never tell your Mom her diet’s not working.” — Michael, age 14<\/p>\n
“Stay away from prunes.” — Randy, age 9<\/p>\n
“Don’t pull Dad’s finger when he tells you to.” — Emily, age 10<\/p>\n
“When your Mom is mad at your dad, don’t let her brush your hair.” — Taylia, age 11<\/p>\n
“Never let your three-year old brother in the same room as your school assignment.” — Traci, age 14<\/p>\n
“A puppy always has bad breath-even after eating a Tic-Tac.” — Andrew, age 9<\/p>\n
“Never hold a dustbuster and a cat at the same time.” — Kyoyo, age 11<\/p>\n
“You can’t hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.” — Amir, age 9<\/p>\n
“Don’t wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.” — Kellie, age 11<\/p>\n
“If you want a kitten, start out by asking for a horse.” — Naomi, age 15<\/p>\n
“Felt-tip markers are not good to use as lipstick.” — Lauren, age 9<\/p>\n
“Don’t pick on your sister when she’s holding a baseball bat.” — Joel, age 10<\/p>\n
“When you get a bad grade in school, show it to your Mom when she’s on the phone.” — Alyesha, age 13<\/p>\n
“Never try to baptize a cat.” — Eileen, age 8<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
“Never trust a dog to watch your food.” — Patrick, age 10 “When your dad is mad and asks you, “Do I look stupid?’ Don’t answer.” — Hannah, age 9 “Never tell your Mom her diet’s not working.” — Michael, age 14 “Stay away from prunes.” — Randy, age 9 “Don’t pull Dad’s finger when […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_s2mail":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[8],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-222","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-children"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/emails.paragonis.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/222","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/emails.paragonis.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/emails.paragonis.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/emails.paragonis.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/emails.paragonis.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=222"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/emails.paragonis.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/222\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":464,"href":"https:\/\/emails.paragonis.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/222\/revisions\/464"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/emails.paragonis.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=222"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/emails.paragonis.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=222"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/emails.paragonis.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=222"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}