{"id":214,"date":"2003-03-25T00:00:00","date_gmt":"2003-03-25T04:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.paragonis.com\/Emails\/?p=214"},"modified":"2009-11-21T00:20:00","modified_gmt":"2009-11-21T04:20:00","slug":"our-government-usa","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/emails.paragonis.com\/?p=214","title":{"rendered":"Our Government (USA)"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>The following are actual stories provided by a retiring Washington DC government Travel Agent of 30+ years:<\/p>\n<p>I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman ask for an aisle seat so that her hair wouldn&#8217;t get messed up by being near the window.<\/p>\n<p>I got a call from a Candidate&#8217;s Staffer, who wanted to go to Capetown.  I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport information then she interrupted me with, &#8220;I&#8217;m not trying to make you look stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts.&#8221;  Without trying to make her look like the stupid one, I calmly explained, &#8220;Cape Cod is in Massachusetts, Capetown is in Africa.&#8221;  Her response &#8230; (click).<\/p>\n<p>A Senior Vermont Congressman called, furious about a Florida package we did.  I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando.  He said he was expecting an ocean-view room.  I tried to explain that is not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state.  He replied, &#8220;Don&#8217;t lie to me.  I looked on the map, and Florida is a very thin state!!!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>I got a call from a Lawmakers wife who asked, &#8220;Is it possible to see England from Canada?&#8221;  I said, &#8220;No.&#8221;  She said, &#8220;But they look so close on the map.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>An Aide for a Bush cabinet member once called and asked if they could rent a car in Dallas.  When I pulled up the reservation, I noticed they had only a 1-hour lay-over in Dallas.  When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, &#8220;I heard Dallas was a big airport, and we will need a car to drive between the gates to save time.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>An Illinois Congresswoman called last week.  She needed to know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:20am and got into Chicago at 8:33am.  I tried to explain that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois, but she could not understand the concept of time zones.  Finally, I told her the plane went very fast, and she bought that!<\/p>\n<p>A New York lawmaker called and asked, &#8220;Do airlines put your physical description on your bag so they know who&#8217;s luggage belongs to who?&#8221;  I said, &#8220;No, why do you ask?&#8221;  She replied, &#8220;Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said (FAT), and I&#8217;m overweight, I think that is very rude?&#8221;  After putting her on hold for a minute while I &#8220;looked into it&#8221; (I was actually laughing) I came back and explained the city code for Fresno, CA is (FAT), and that the airline was just putting a destination tag on her luggage. <\/p>\n<p>A Senator&#8217;s Aide called in inquiring about a trip package to Hawaii.  After going over all the cost info, she asked, &#8220;Would it be cheaper to fly to California and then take the train to Hawaii?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>I just got off the phone with a freshman Congressman who asked, &#8220;How do I know which plane to get on?&#8221;  I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied, &#8220;I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these darn planes have numbers on them.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>A Lady Senator called and said, &#8220;I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola, FL.  Do I have to get on one of those little computer planes?&#8221;  I asked if she meant fly to Pensacola, FL on a commuter plane.  She said, &#8220;Yeah, whatever!!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>A Senior Senator called and had a question about the documents he needed in order to fly to China.  After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded him he needed a visa.  &#8220;Oh no I don&#8217;t, I&#8217;ve been to China many times and never had to have one of those.&#8221;  I double checked and sure enough, his stay required a visa.  When I told him this he said, &#8220;Look, I&#8217;ve been to China four times and every time they have accepted my American Express!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>A New Mexico Congresswoman called to make reservations, &#8220;I want to go from Chicago to Rhino, New York.&#8221;  The agent was at a loss for words.  Finally, the agent: &#8220;Are you sure that&#8217;s the name of the town?&#8221;  &#8220;Yes, what flights do you have?&#8221; replied the lady.  After some searching, the agent came back with &#8220;I&#8217;m sorry, ma&#8217;am, I&#8217;ve looked up every airport code in the country and can&#8217;t find a Rhino anywhere.&#8221;  The lady retorted, &#8220;Oh don&#8217;t be silly!  Everyone knows where it is.  Check your map!&#8221;  The agent scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, &#8220;You don&#8217;t mean Buffalo, do you?&#8221;  &#8220;That&#8217;s it! I knew it was a big animal&#8221; she admitted!!!<\/p>\n<p>Now you know why our government is in the shape that it&#8217;s in!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The following are actual stories provided by a retiring Washington DC government Travel Agent of 30+ years: I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman ask for an aisle seat so that her hair wouldn&#8217;t get messed up by being near the window. I got a call from a Candidate&#8217;s Staffer, who wanted to go to Capetown. [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_s2mail":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[12],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-214","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-govt-n-military"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/emails.paragonis.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/214","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/emails.paragonis.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/emails.paragonis.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/emails.paragonis.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/emails.paragonis.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=214"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/emails.paragonis.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/214\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":511,"href":"https:\/\/emails.paragonis.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/214\/revisions\/511"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/emails.paragonis.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=214"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/emails.paragonis.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=214"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/emails.paragonis.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=214"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}