You know you are in a redneck church when…<\/p>\n
People wonder, when Jesus fed 5000, whether the two fish were bass or catfish.<\/p>\n
People grumble that Noah let coyotes on the ark.<\/p>\n
The pastor wears boots.<\/p>\n
The preacher says, “I’ld like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering,” and five guys stand up.<\/p>\n
Opening day of deer season is recognized as an official church holiday.<\/p>\n
A member of the church requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive truck because “It ain’t never been in a hole it couldn’t get out of.”<\/p>\n
When it rains everyone is smiling; prayers regarding the weather are standard practice.<\/p>\n
The choir group is known as the “OK Chorale”.<\/p>\n
There is no such thing as “secret” sin.<\/p>\n
Baptism is referred to as branding.<\/p>\n
There is a special fund raiser for a new church septic tank.<\/p>\n
Finding and returning lost sheep isn’t just a parable.<\/p>\n
High notes on the organ set the dogs on the floor to howling.<\/p>\n
People think “rapture” is when you lift something too heavy.<\/p>\n
The final words of the benediction are “Ya’ll come back now, yah hear?”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
You know you are in a redneck church when… People wonder, when Jesus fed 5000, whether the two fish were bass or catfish. People grumble that Noah let coyotes on the ark. The pastor wears boots. The preacher says, “I’ld like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering,” and five guys stand up. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_s2mail":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[25],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-189","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-religious"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/emails.paragonis.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/189","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/emails.paragonis.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/emails.paragonis.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/emails.paragonis.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/emails.paragonis.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=189"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/emails.paragonis.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/189\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/emails.paragonis.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=189"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/emails.paragonis.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=189"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/emails.paragonis.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=189"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}