Law of Cat Inertia
\nA cat at rest will tend to remain at rest, unless acted upon by some outside force – such as the opening of cat food, or a nearby scurrying mouse.<\/p>\n
Law of Cat Motion
\nA cat will move in a straight line, unless there is a really good reason to change direction.<\/p>\n
Law of Cat Magnetism
\nAll blue blazers and black sweaters attract cat hair in direct proportion to the darkness of the fabric.<\/p>\n
Law of Cat Thermodynamics
\nHeat flows from a warmer to a cooler body, except in the case of a cat, in which case all heat flows to the cat.<\/p>\n
Law of Cat Stretching
\nA cat will stretch to a distance proportional to the length of the nap just taken.<\/p>\n
Law of Cat Sleeping
\nAll cats must sleep with people whenever possible, in a position as uncomfortable for the people involved, and as comfortable as possible for the cat.<\/p>\n
Law of Cat Elongation
\nA cat can make her body long enough to reach just about any counter top that has anything remotely interesting on it.<\/p>\n
Law of Cat Obstruction
\nA cat must lay on the floor in such a position to obstruct the maximum amount of human foot traffic.<\/p>\n
Law of Cat Acceleration
\nA cat will accelerate at a constant rate, until he gets good and ready to stop.<\/p>\n
Law of Dinner Table Attendance
\nCats must attend all meals when anything good is served.<\/p>\n
Law of Rug Configuration
\nNo rug may remain in its naturally flat state for very long.<\/p>\n
Law of Obedience Resistance
\nA cat’s resistance varies in proportion to a human’s desire for her to do something.<\/p>\n
First Law of Energy Conservation
\nCats know that energy can neither be created nor destroyed and will, therefore, use as little energy as possible.<\/p>\n
Second Law of Energy Conservation
\nCats also know that energy can only be stored by a lot of napping.<\/p>\n
Law of Refrigerator Observation
\nIf a cat watches a refrigerator long enough, someone will come along and take out something good to eat.<\/p>\n
Law of Electric Blanket Attraction
\nTurn on an electric blanket and a cat will jump into bed at the speed of light.<\/p>\n
Law of Random Comfort Seeking
\nA cat will always seek, and usually take over, the most comfortable spot in any given room.<\/p>\n
Law of Bag\/Box Occupancy
\nAll bags and boxes in a given room must contain a cat within the earliest possible nanosecond.<\/p>\n
Law of Cat Embarrassment
\nA cat’s irritation rises in direct proportion to her embarrassment times the amount of human laughter.<\/p>\n
Law of Milk Consumption
\nA cat will drink his weight in milk, squared, just to show you he can.<\/p>\n
Law of Furniture Replacement
\nA cat’s desire to scratch furniture is directly proportional to the cost of the furniture.<\/p>\n
Law of Cat Landing
\nA cat will always land in the softest place possible; often the midsection of an unsuspecting, reclining human.<\/p>\n
Law of Fluid Displacement
\nA cat immersed in milk will displace her own volume, minus the amount of milk consumed.<\/p>\n
Law of Cat Disinterest
\nA cat’s interest level will vary in inverse proportion to the amount of effort a human expends in trying to interest him.<\/p>\n
Law of Pill Rejection
\nAny pill given to a cat has the potential energy to reach escape velocity.<\/p>\n
Law of Cat Composition
\nA cat is composed of Matter + Antimatter = It Doesn’t Matter<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Law of Cat Inertia A cat at rest will tend to remain at rest, unless acted upon by some outside force – such as the opening of cat food, or a nearby scurrying mouse. Law of Cat Motion A cat will move in a straight line, unless there is a really good reason to change […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_s2mail":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-183","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-animals"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/emails.paragonis.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/183","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/emails.paragonis.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/emails.paragonis.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/emails.paragonis.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/emails.paragonis.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=183"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/emails.paragonis.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/183\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":437,"href":"https:\/\/emails.paragonis.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/183\/revisions\/437"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/emails.paragonis.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=183"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/emails.paragonis.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=183"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/emails.paragonis.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=183"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}