Things to do when you’re bored at WalMart:<\/b><\/p>\n
1. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day.<\/p>\n
2. Make a trail of orange juice on the floor, leading to the rest rooms.<\/p>\n
3. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, “I think we’ve got a Code 3 in house wares,” and see what happens.<\/p>\n
4. Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them all off and turn the volumes to “10.”<\/p>\n
5. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.<\/p>\n
6. Put M&M’s on layaway.<\/p>\n
7. Move “Caution: Wet Floor” signs to carpeted areas.<\/p>\n
8. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you’ll only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.<\/p>\n
9. When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, “Why won’t you people just leave me alone?”<\/p>\n
10. Look right into the security camera, and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose.<\/p>\n
11. Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men.<\/p>\n
12. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.<\/p>\n
13. While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.<\/p>\n
14. Switch the men’s and women’s signs on the doors of the rest rooms.<\/p>\n
15. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from “Mission Impossible.”<\/p>\n
16. Set up a “Valet Parking” sign in front of the store.<\/p>\n
17. In the auto department, practice your “Madonna” look with various funnels.<\/p>\n
18. Hide in the clothing racks and when people browse through, say things like “pick me! pick me!!”<\/p>\n
19. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream, “No, no! It’s those voices again!”<\/p>\n
20. If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don’t get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.<\/p>\n
21. Go into the dressing room and yell real loud…”Hey, we’re out of toilet paper in here!”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Things to do when you’re bored at WalMart: 1. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day. 2. Make a trail of orange juice on the floor, leading to the rest rooms. 3. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, “I think we’ve […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_s2mail":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[16],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-126","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-lists"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/emails.paragonis.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/126","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/emails.paragonis.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/emails.paragonis.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/emails.paragonis.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/emails.paragonis.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=126"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/emails.paragonis.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/126\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/emails.paragonis.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=126"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/emails.paragonis.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=126"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/emails.paragonis.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=126"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}